Mouse-over the blank space next to A: to see the answers!
Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)
Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)
Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)
Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)
Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
A: The letter " I "
Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)
Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)
Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)
Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)
Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)
Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter "m".
Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.
Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
A: It can make "her" "hear.
Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise.
Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".
Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".
Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A: Alphabet = (26 letters).
Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".
Q: What is the end of everything?
A: The letter "g".
Monday, February 4, 2008
Riddles of Alphabet
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Anniversary gift
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Godly logic
A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
The man asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
The man asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Jesus vs. Satan at computing
Jesus and Satan get into an argument one day about who is the best at computing. Finally, God gets tired of hearing them bicker and decides to have a contest to settle it once and for all.
He sets up a computer for each of them, and gives them each a list of tasks to complete. For hours, Satan and Jesus are clicking away, making spreadsheets, cropping images, setting up Access databases. Satan is nearing his last task, and Jesus is nowhere close.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning comes out of nowhere and cuts off the power. Satan and Jesus both scramble to get their computers up, and Satan starts feverishly redoing all of his work. A few minutes later, Jesus declares that he's done.
"That's not fair!" protests Satan. "I finished all my work way before him, it's not my fault there was a power outage!"
God simply shrugged. "Jesus saves."
Mickey divorce
Mickey Mouse wanted to get a divorce from Minnie, so he went to see his lawyer. The lawyer asked Mickey, "On what grounds would you be able to divorce Minnie?" Mickey explained why. The lawyer then said, "I'm sorry Mickey, but you're not going to be able to divorce Minnie simply because she's a little crazy." Mickey replied, "I never said anything about Minnie being a little crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"
Man with seeing-eye dog
A man with a seeing-eye dog walks into a department store. He goes to the middle of the store, grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around his head. Other people look on in awe, and a manager notices and rushes over: "Sir! Can I help you with something?" The blind man replies, "No, just looking around."
Descartes
René Descartes was sitting in coach on an airplane to France. The stewardess came down the aisle and asked him, "Would you like a drink?" He replied, "Nah, I think not."
And he disappeared.
Buddha and the hot dog vendor
What did the Buddha say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."
After the vendor took his money and gave Buddha his hot dog, Buddha asked, "What about my change?"
The vendor said, "Change comes from within"
Two hunters
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Two atoms
Two atoms walking down the street happen to collide into one another. The first one exclaims, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" says the second atom.
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Just then, a chlorine atom walks up to them and says, "Yeah? I'm the one who took your electron. You gonna try to take it back?"
"No, I don't want to be reduced to your level."
Bank conversation
An Asian lady goes to the bank and says to the bank teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunned dolla fo yen. Today I get hunned eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller says, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too."
Presidential briefing
One day, the U.S. Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Helping another
I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Music theory
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest—and closes the bar.
Sexual organ
Are the buttocks a sexual organ, as the FCC asserted? Many argue it is in fact not an organ, but...
From dictionary.com:
or·gan /ˈɔrgən/ Pronunciation[awr-guhn] –noun 1. a musical instrument consisting of one or more sets of pipes sounded by means of compressed air, played by means of one or more keyboards, and capable of producing a wide range of musical effects.
I don't know about keyboards, but the "compressed air ... producing a wide range of musical effects" part seems to match well.
Mushroom
A mushroom walks into a bar, but the bouncer stops him.
"We don't serve your kind here."
"Why not? I'm a fun guy!"